I've been told a lot of things about myself. "You won't graduate high", "You won't do much but be just like her", "nobody will ever love you as much as I do" the list goes on and on. Each situation I believed them. Not only that but I behaved the way they wanted me to in order to make these lies a reality. In each situation I had a close encounter with God that made me see that no matter what lies were told to me, my joy and my magic were given to me for a reason. Playing into what other people had to say wasn't going to get me closer to where I needed to be.
The biggest lies though came from a long relationship I was in. He had me believing that he was the only one, that nobody would love me like he did, and that if I left I would never feel love again. He had me believing that his love, as crazy as it was, was the only kind of love I was worth. Overcoming those lies and that mindset wasn't easy and it didn't happen overnight but my persistence, my poetry, and talks with God definitely helped me get through. Morning affirmations and reassuring myself that I was worth way more than what I was settling for accompanied with my poems checking myself pushed me to a place of self love and acceptance. "You've been so wrapped up in him that you done let you pass by watching all your dreams and ambitions die" (line from "Today" by Luki) was a place where I had hit rock bottom in that relationship.
I had to realize that, "This box they want you in doesn't fit...you are a beautiful tornado the calmest tsunami I've ever seen" (line from "Flaws" by Luki) is where I am now knowing that I am a queen and that no matter what mistake I've made or what wrong turn I took, I am success and the true definition of strength. I'm magic and I'm real!!
Jonté “Luki” Barrett has been writing poetry since 2007. Upon beginning to perform, she has blazed stages for #PurePoetryDc on U Street and various Busboys and Poets locations throughout the DMV Area. When she picked up her pen it was simply for communication due to the lack of outlets. Coming through the last 9 years, she has grown to love and appreciate herself through her writings. While reminding herself of the beauty in struggle and the positivity in every part of her being, she uses her pen to push this kind of love, acceptance, and freedom to everyone she meets. It’s ok to love, to hurt, to be sexy, to cry, to feel pain, and to experience joy because Loving U Kills Ignorance.